Possibility of Love

Love for me has never been simple or easy to swallow or accept. I think this is one of the major accomplishments in life that i wll be experiencing as i move forward. I meet so many people who crave love but in other forms, most of all being acceptance.

I love myself, openly, honestly and truly. I know what i am capable of - my dark side and my light side. I totally accept these with an open heart, so therefore i love myself unconditionally. That doesn't mean that i don't have days where i cry and spend time in bed eating chocolate. But when these days of personal reflection and yearning occur, i love myself enough to honor these feelings and encourage their flow. There is nothing wrong with having a bad day.

Love for another is far more difficult for me though, and i am talking about truly realising that the possibility of love is there within reach. How scary! To think that the past could come and haunt me, by opening up to another person. But today i've realised that vulnerability is the only way to heal the wounds of love. I think you truly love someone when you accept them unconditionally (and this goes for our children as well) warts and all.....but also allow them the chance to accept or reject you. You really have to put your heart on the line.

Today i rang my brother and reconciled with him after we had some differences of opinion a few months ago. For him to understand and accept me I had to open myself up to him, allow him the opportunity to hear where i am, how i feel. I also had the chance to hear his story. I feel now that we can feel love for eachother openly, though we live in completely different worlds. I had to forgive not only him but myself and those who had hurt me before too.

It seems that people wait for someone special (a partner) to come into their lives to fill a hole. A black hole of hurt or emptyiness, where we gave a part of ourselves to somebody else through love. An example of this is me and my birth father. I never knew him, but i did know that i loved him and that oneday i would need him to love me back. I had a hole so big that i would love anybody who could fill that hole.

When my dad didnt want to see me or my son, i had a choice. I could either get upset that i was rejected or accept the fact that he doesn't know me and our lives were never entwined together. He didnt have to love someone he had never really met, even if we were biologically related. I decided to forgive and forget and let him go. The fantasy i had of fatherly love wasnt to be found with him - or with the boyfriends I desperately grabbed onto for a time.

Since then i've realised that all the love i needed was within me...all along! I could give myself anything i desired, i could take care of myself through the father within me. I was the only one who knew what was best for me. Since then i have felt a sense of belonging, love and balance like never before.

I think i am capable of love now. I am not needy for it, I wouldnt do anything to get it...as i already have it in abundant supply. But to kiss someone and touch them and show them love... is something so special and unique...rare even. No drama, no barriers, no limit, no time, no inhibitions... a love that lasts beyond the physical everyday. To experience that with not only my son but a man also would be a dream come true. To be cherished entirely and wholly by someone is a possibility now, now that i cherish myself wholly and entirely first.

To experience love in its highest form it is necessary to see the soul mate within me. I have a feminine side and a masculine side. Since i am female i was taught by society and parents to adopt the feminine only. I could only love myself when i discovered my partner within me and reunite them. Now my feminine (compassion, care and nuturing) can love my masculine (truth, integrity, discernment) and i feel whole. No need for someone to come into my life and teach me lessons about myself.....

Instead i can make space for the possibility of someone sharing their whole self with me - in a world where fantasy can be real and where peace is reigning supreme. Most of all I know i will still be myself.

Flying Saucers and Green Gummy Bears

Hehe, usually i talk about Little Green Men...the green elemental kind, who look after the grass and flowers, BUT this morning i saw a different kind of green being...

30 mins ago, i was dreaming i was walking through a field, with three friends. I looked into the sky and there was a white floating disc. The disc flew back behind, and when i turned around there were huge beautiful motherships...about 3 or 4, with additional smaller ships around them.

I admired in absolute bliss, it was the most amazing sight and then we kept walking. But then quickly a small ship flew above us, over a large tree while we were under it. I couldnt see it it first but then it flew ahead and wasnt far in front. It made wobbly moves in a circle near the ground, and as i walked forward I started flying around in a circle myself copying the craft. I think i wanted the craft to know i wasnt scared.

I stopped and i saw a little green object, similar to a man (or a dark green gummy bear hehe) about one foot tall come out of the ship. It flew straight (i mean standing vertical) to my dream companion (who i am pretty sure now was an emissianary of sorts) and then came in front of me. I think the green suit helped to lower the vibration so it could come very close. The crazy thing is i was like a footy commentator - telling my dream companions what was going on - as if they couldnt see. I think my ego shined like a blistering mark on my forehead.

IT WAS SOOOOOOOO AMAZING, so much energy...so much love, it was truly the strongest love i have ever felt EVER....i was feeling euphoria from this being. His love was so strong i couldnt see him at all in front of me, all i could see was energy. He said the world was in trouble...but I didnt want to believe it, so i started saying nonono....thats not right. I just wanted to focus on the euphoric feeling instead of the message. So i did, and wow i nearly got lost in it if it wasnt for my friend hitting me in the back. Next thing i walked into a building, a room which felt like a school room (leaving the meadow behind me literally - i looked back for a bit).

The ship was just a normal room with lots of computer stuff....my human mind thinking it was an observatory to see the aliens.....haha I was actually in the ship and didnt know...all i could talk about was aliens. I asked if their was a recording of the meeting and she (my friend) said yes.....but i wanted to see!

I think they prolonged my life, cos she encouraged me to sit me down (i thought i was going to see the meeting) and I put gadgets on my face....kind of like a headset, but lots more things sticking in my mouth.....i had to extend the device in front of my mouth, I was quite relaxed as i copied the way my friend wore the device....next thing in the window a bloody saucer appears straight in front of me! I'm like omg! and i want to talk to them, but i cant because there was literally a wave of energy pushing something into the back of my throat (at the time i thought i had chewing gum in my mouth). I hide to pull out the white stuff from the back of my throat, so i can talk to them. The ship i saw was a tinier ship and landed in the ship i was in. I woke up pretty much after that.

I can breathe now.....im so tempted to have a smoke tho. I think they picked up on the fact that i was intuitive, but had something in my throat preventing me from talking. Maybe it had to do with ciggarettes? i dont know, maybe it was cancer?? i dont know....

I am in shock! :D

In the dream there was a single tree left in the whole field. Maybe they were saying the earth will not survive - or rather we will not. All i know is if that is the sort of love we would experience from them, then i would love for them to come here more often. It was truly amazing.

Healing Elemental Energy

This is an interesting post, as it will challenge some peoples beliefs of the world around them. Plus I am not writing this alone for i have an energy's anticipation urging me on.

As a lightworker i feel energy and move it around, breaking it up and changing it. I work within the new energy, which is not limited by confining measurements, linear time or description of any sort. But in order to explain this story i will have to translate it into these concepts. Not a simple task but one i think is necessary, as more people are experiencing moments like these and need reassurance. Maybe this experience was meant for this moment, as i feel the energy's excitement of what is about to be told.

Two days ago i read about a land called Agartha. There is a theory that the world is not dense as people believe, but hollow. And within the earth are subterranean lands just like we have here on the outer earth. I have not seen any spiritual evidence for this yet, but i thought i'd like to see. There is said to be many entrances to this land, where the beings are highly evolved and their technology is far superior to ours (Agartha - The Hollow Earth greyfalcon.us/Agartha.htm).

So last night, i went to bed and did the usual ritual of self massage and reading a book. This particular book shows you how to pass the gates of consciousness. The gate i read about last night was Flexibility via the heart chakra and ironically symbolized by the Egyptian Blue Lotus. I did the excerises - expanding my aura to cleanse it, intuitively knowing this exercise could make me vulnerable to picking up 'needy' energy. I focused on love and loving all things, no matter what form they took - negative and positive.

What i did next was very brave! I decided to have a look at Agartha. One of the entrances is an Egyptian Pyriamid. I could have chosen the south and north poles to send myself to but for some reason i chose the most 'dangerous' route (as i tend to do in daily life also). People can rarely enter Agartha from the pyriamid, as it has a huge maze of tunnels and without a spirit guide it is easy to get lost within.

I entered the pyramid, sliding down and passing chambers and falling beneath floors that suddenly gave way. I met a spirit who led me to the end, where i came out of a cave entrance to a beautiful vista with wildlife and magnificent meadows, mountains and rivers. I asked the fellow to take off the strange mask he wore. But he refused and said it was essential he hide his face (as many spirits who experience the negativity of humans find their face becomes grotesque as they absorb our negative energy). As i looked at the beautiful environment around me, i felt a push. He had kicked me onto the ground. I was not angry, but i realised what i was seeing was an illusion, it was not Agartha but my imagination. The only thing real here was a spirit who was angry that i had trespassed into his domain. Where was I?

I was still in the pyramid, surrounded by elemental energies. You've heard the stories of people stealing from pyriamids and getting very sick, even dying. This is an example of the energies people meet unknowingly. I know that they were salamanders as I could see the fire they represented as they were around me. A brief moment of panic, what silly thing have i done? Time for me to leave. I give the spirits a gift in exchange for my dissapearance - i toss a necklace of mother pearl to the ground. I send my spirit back home, traversing up through the maze of the pyriamid energy.

I open my eyes and i instantly know that i have travelled back with a companion (as i have done a few times before). My symptoms are sweating, energy streaming from my eyes, open crown chakra also streaming, pins and needles in the hands and feet, energy sitting in my spine opposite my stomach, heaviness on my back from the head down to the feet, neck pain. Essentially the contact is made through the nervous system where it is easy to access the electricity of my body. As i write this the energy is overwhelming, my kneck is quite sore and stiff, even painful as the energy would rather get to the beautiful bits of the story.

I locate my mind. It is not fully here, my mind is elsewhere. I go back to find where i am. I am still in my 'Agartha' - my created illsuion of peace and happiness. I travel through Agartha, to find an entrance back or someone to help me. I come across an earth elemental, an old man who is green and is floating in the air, as i am. He points to a dark cave and says i must be brave to enter in order to go back. I enter the hole in the mountain and travel up the tunnel seeing a vortex of beautiful colours whirling around and around as i travel. Then Gaia greets me - an old friend. She invites me into her bubble of pink compssionate energy and i am safe now. She holds my hand, giving me comfort and encouragement, smiling at me. She joins me in my journey home, delivering me back to my body and blessing me.

I open my eyes and i feel better, but can still feel the energy of the spirit with me. I go outside and have a smoke, feeling the energy being drawn into my hand, feeling and exploring the fire of the ciggarette. There is a moment where i phone a friend of mine. It is 12:30, past midnight and he is alseep. I know he has the power to scare the spirit away - but intuitively within my heart i know that this is not the answer, nor will it help us.

Its time to attend to the needs of this Salamander i think to myself. I notice my mind is still far away - as i have sidestepped for the healing of this energy. I move to the loungeroom and lie on the couch. I call on the angels - Gabriel, Uriel, Raphael, Michael, Sananda (Jesus), Mother Mary and Magdelene. They all step in to my house and i see sparks of golden energy. They clean the house of negative energy. Then Magdelene comes forth. She can see the fire spirit on my back and welcomes it into her arms and cradles it like a baby. Its a beautiful sight and the elemental needs the love of a mother to return it to its original state.

I am so tired, i fall asleep. My sleep is so full and no dreams come to me. I woke up this morning extremely tired, to the cries of my child. I walk in and talk to him, but he is distracted by the spirit behind me and looks perplexed and frowns at it. He understands it doesn't belong there but within a moment accepts the reality of it and is ready to play. I am so tired, so i half sleep as charlie plays. After an hour he pushes me up and encourages me to live my life. We go to a playground, where there is a running stream and its so beautiful. It begins to rain a tiny bit but soon stops. Its very fitting that i am surrounded by water at this moment, as it helps to balance the energy i am tenderly carrying.

As i have experienced this before, I have total faith that there is purpose and love in all happenings. I know that energy cannot remain fixed and always has to change and be reborn into a new phase. I believe this happened for a reason, maybe just to tell of a story which will make humans aware of things they do not see everyday. One of our roles as lightworkers in ascension is to heal the elementals who have been transformed through absorbing the negative energies of humans from the environment. Though it definately shouldn't be taken on in such a physical way, but through prayer and sending love to gaia and her helpers. This Chapter in my life should be complete within a few days with the angels help and i may write some more on the healing of this fiery energy.

Note: It took 2 days to heal the energy with the help of Archangel Michael and alot of water! My son also told me the 'someone' had gone, repeating it many times to make sure i understood.

A Spell Has Been Broken

For all of my adult years i have been tormented you could say, by my experiences of school life. They were so dominating and confining. I never spoke up and was rarely able to be myself around teachers or students. Since then i was haunted by those memories in my dreams.

I have just awoke from a dream in the classroom where i regained my power. The teacher repeatedly put me down and humiliated me over and over again. And i found myself being quite strong and never getting upset....but i always managed to throw her words back at her - they never touched me.

I soon found students moving next to me, wanting to sit with me. One student was a girl who had always hurt me in school and was i guess the focus of all my negative energy. She came up to me and praised my words, then took a seat. She said because of my wisdom and bravery they were receiving gifts too (this was symbolized as MacDonalds Shakes).

Once again the Teacher remarked on myself - apparantly something i had said. I didnt remember saying that to her so I actually stood up and said 'I do not recall saying that'. THEN amazingly my twin sister (who never had to defend me) supported me in this and spoke up herself.

I began to walk straight up to this teacher. Knowing i did not know her but she was like the others i had had. I proceeded to tell her exactly what i thought of her and how she reminded me of a nasty teacher in school and that she was very similar. It was a fairly long speach, if any longer i may have fell back into the spell of victimisation and poor woes me. But i finished and i walked outside.

The APPLAUD was so loud. The angels clapped my performance and cheered for me and my growth - my new awareness and power. I woke up instantly then and walked outside. I could hear soooo many beautiful birds, the colours exquisite....just like when i was a litlle girl. The spell was broken.

I do believe now that nightmares are only our inability to stand up for ourselves...to stand in our power. The angels are watching all of our dreams to guage our next steps to healing. I often hear the loud applause or even angels who are playing roles will shake my hands after i have spoken up for someone in need or done somebody a great service - mainly myself.

One Small Step for Man and Giant Leaps for Mankind

Truly it does start off with one idea, an idea that many others are having also, though they too think their idea is the very beginning...of that idea. But as we all have our own similar ideas we can manifest these concepts into reality, its not hard when many people focus on achieving something.

This is how I view Lightworking, though we arent aware of eachother. Lighting flames everywhere we go. Creating, moving with integrity and noble intention - which is sometimes difficult to see by others as we all reflect eachothers qualities. But as lightworkers we all share a feeling - a passion and are prepared to make it a reality no matter what.

For instance these past two weeks i said goodbye to many energies (people) i had out dated. They were stifling and suffocating my growth as an individual. I happily let them go with love in my heart, with no sense of lost for we had all gained in the time we had spent together. Amazingly i was accused of being agro and narcissistic and being totally selfish. The truth was i was completely honest with them! I knew that they were not good for me and told them why. Yes i was experiencing I AM....but i dont think that makes me a bad person... just maybe a smart one :) Since the changes I have experienced better sleep, more fulfilled time with my son, financial rewards, less smoking, more eating, more laughs and more inspiration than ever before.

It is because i have stopped giving pieces of myself to everyone i meet or to friends i feel obliged to pamper (even family members). Its time to call them back to ME - the sacred place where they truly belong. I have decided to fully live this life, with both feet firmly rooted upon the ground...no more head spins from other peoples woes. I have no problems myself - my life is simple and therefore easy.

Since this special transformation of my Belief System (Aka BS - Bull Shit), I have had the honor of making 2 new friends! Both living in the New Consciousness and able to converse with me about my work. I even had the pleasure of jamming for the first time in years.

I say this to anyone reading this - Live YOUR life, noone elses. Stop thinking of others and their problems, start treasuring yourself. Then you will find your passion and will discover how to touch people with your magnificance...therefore creating sparks of divine light wherever you go. If you do not feel absolute joy every morning you wake - then make a change...even if it hurts and makes you sad. For within a few days you will be released from your prison of self punishment - your BS. Other people are not the key....the key is within your own daily routine.

Hugs and Tickles
C